Sunday, February 17, 2013

Relationships, Part 1. Dedicated to Women Everywhere

Let me start off this blog with a chapter on a topic that I feel has parlously been left unnoticed, unspoken and deeply misunderstood. But oddly, is the basis of all relationship dramas and, if lucky, happiness. So my statement is that all relationships are unique to it's core.
As a young woman I've had so many dramas/ unanswered questions/ lost opportunities/ bad timings that all women magazine's in the world would have enough to discuss about for years. But as I happen to hate all these shallow magazines with stereotyped scenarios and unprofessional journalists, I, as every girl, go to advice to their know-all girlfriends. So I go to my girlfriends, we drink wine, talk about random Facebook gossip and then comes the talk about men and relationships. Pfffffff... after all these "very supporting and sincere" discussions about why-he-did-so I usually feel like the men are behaving actually quite nicely and healthy than the crazy-stalking girl"friends".
Not that I think they purposely want to give me bad dating/relationship advice but the thing they do not understand is that every, and I mean EVERY, relationship is unique. Meaning, what John said with "I like you" on the second date to the movies, means "You're Ok, but not for me, but let's just date for a month or so before I disappear" means different for Ken who says also "I like you" on the second date to the movies, which means "I like REALLY like you, but let's start it slow, I don't want to rush it with you as I think we might really work".
Sadly, my experience recalls that your so-called girlfriends are usually quick to state that your crush probably is not very much into you, but "like umm.. just call him and the sleep with him and then call him again to see what he is doing". Seriously, it's either that I do not have real friends or are women deep-down green jealous monsters who will do everything to be the first one to get married and for their own ego-boost, be assured only they know everything while being the Kate Moss of dating catwalk.
I am just saying that when it comes to the most complicated form of human feelings and the reason for coexistence for the purpose of re-production, as it is between one individual and other individual... it's best for other's to just shut the f--- up. If somebody thinks that she/he knows what is happening between Somebody and Somebody is like saying they understand how it's like to be a soldier in Afghanistan because they have seen movies focusing on the psychology of soldiers or they know what it's like to be a mother before you actually give birth and raise a child who, despite all efforts, does everything against your loving will. I am not a soldier (obviously) nor a mother, so I do not debate on topics regarding child-raising or whatever-topic I am not actually qualified in.
Life is complicated enough and I don't think there is anyone who would like to make things more complicated to be advised by people that are not professional therapists or the Mr Mixed-Singnals's Best Fiends, who might maybe be the only person to know what he meant with THAT sentence! But for his own popularity, will tell you what he thinks you might want to hear.
The only advice I am giving is to listen to your own gut and though it is nice to ask for different perspective on your issues, don't take it as the final truth. Listen, nod and believe in your own instincts.


  1. You are on the right track here. Nobody else knows whats going on in other people minds, let alone in two minds, so if one is not sure what the other one is thinking/feeling you have two choices, ask them or trust that if it is bound to happen, it happens.
    Nobody else has no business commenting on your life :)

    And if sometimes you're feeling down about failed attempt to create a relationship....remember this: “To those who have given up on love: I say, "Trust life a little bit.” one of my fave quotes by Maya Angelou. Worked for me :)

    1. Yes, totally! That's a great quote to live by, because sometimes life has special plans :)

  2. Love your style simple and beautiful :)